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Poor Prince Harry taken to the cleaners on live TV

<p>The Duke of Sussex engaged in a thrilling penalty shootout with Germany's defence minister, Boris Pistorius, during a live television broadcast to promote the 2023 Invictus Games – however, Prince Harry's quest for victory ended in disappointment as he failed to score a single goal in six attempts.</p> <p>This friendly (yet competitive!) soccer challenge took place as part of the promotion for the 2023 Invictus Games, which Prince Harry attended in Düsseldorf, Germany. The Duke, aged 38, appeared on the popular German TV show, <em>Das Aktuelles Sportstudio</em>, following the opening ceremony of the Invictus Games.</p> <p>In a clip shared on social media, Prince Harry, alongside Pistorius, Angelo Anderson, and Jens Niemeyer, took turns attempting to kick a soccer ball through one of two holes in a wall on the studio set. The game, known as a shootout, has been a long-standing tradition on the show.</p> <p>Prince Harry jokingly inquired about the consequences of a zero score before being informed that he'd have to don a German jersey if he lost. Undeterred, he stepped up to take his shots, but his first three attempts missed the mark.</p> <p>Pistorius then managed to score twice during his turn, and after other participants took their shots, Harry missed three more times.</p> <p>In the end, rather than a German jersey, Prince Harry was presented with a scarf from the local German club, FSV Mainz 05, which he sportingly wore to the applause of the audience.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="de">Prinz Harry, Bundesverteidigungsminister Boris Pistorius, Angelo Anderson und Jens Niemeyer stellen sich der Herausforderung an der <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/sportstudio?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#sportstudio</a>-Torwand. <a href="https://t.co/liwmkz0zg0">pic.twitter.com/liwmkz0zg0</a></p> <p>— ZDF (@ZDF) <a href="https://twitter.com/ZDF/status/1700637221273862535?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 9, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <p>During the show, Prince Harry also discussed the profound impact of founding the Invictus Games, describing it as a lifeline. He reflected on the shared experiences and stories within the veterans' community, something that resonated deeply with him due to his own military service in the British Army, which included two tours in Afghanistan.</p> <p>The Invictus Games, created by Prince Harry in 2014, are a global sporting event for veterans and service personnel, and this year's edition marked the first time it was hosted in Germany. Previous events were held in London (2014), Orlando (2016), Toronto (2017), Sydney (2018), and The Hague (2022). The 2025 Invictus Games are scheduled to take place in Vancouver and Whistler, Canada.</p> <p>This year's event, running from September 9 to September 16, featured over 500 athletes from 21 countries competing in 10 different sports, representing six continents.</p> <p>In a video message ahead of the event, Prince Harry expressed his excitement about having participants from every continent except Antarctica, humorously adding that they were still working on getting representation from there.</p> <p>At the opening ceremony, Prince Harry gave a speech touching on self-discovery, teamwork, and family life. He welcomed Colombia, Israel, and Nigeria as first-time participants and humorously mentioned that since Meghan Markle discovered her Nigerian ancestry through a genealogy test, the competition might get more competitive in their household.</p> <p>Harry also emphasised the importance of the Invictus Games as a platform for veterans to be part of a supportive community and overcome societal perceptions about disabilities and limitations. He quoted a South Korean competitor, Mr. Na, who shared, "We overcome perceptions of ourselves in society." For Harry, these games were not just about winning medals but about breaking down self-imposed barriers and redefining what's possible.</p> <p><em>Images: Twitter (X) / ZDF</em></p>

TV

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5 tips for getting off gas at home – for a cleaner, cheaper, healthier all-electric future

<p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/trivess-moore-12580">Trivess Moore</a>, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a></em>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alan-pears-52">Alan Pears</a>, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a></em>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nicola-willand-441807">Nicola Willand</a>, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a></em></p> <p>Burning gas in our homes to cook food or heat air and water has become a contentious issue. Gas is an expensive, polluting fossil fuel, and there’s mounting evidence to suggest it’s also <a href="https://www1.racgp.org.au/ajgp/2022/december/health-risks-from-indoor-gas-appliances">bad for our health</a>.</p> <p>Five million existing Australian households will need to <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/report/getting-off-gas/">get off gas</a> within the next 30 years. But for homeowners, the upfront cost can be a major barrier to action. Renters rarely get a say over the appliances installed in their homes. And apartment owners can struggle to make individual changes too.</p> <p>In most cases it’s worth making the switch, for the energy bill savings alone. For example, analysis suggests a household in Melbourne switching from gas to electricity can save <a href="https://theconversation.com/all-electric-homes-are-better-for-your-hip-pocket-and-the-planet-heres-how-governments-can-help-us-get-off-gas-207409">up to A$13,900</a> over a decade.</p> <p>If you’re contemplating upgrading gas appliances in your home, or even disconnecting from the gas network altogether, here are a few handy tips and resources to cut through the confusion.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2JuZgXz6zNo?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Homes must switch away from gas by 2050, says policy think tank (ABC News)</span></figcaption></figure> <h2>Tip 1 – Find trusted, independent information</h2> <p>There is no shortage of information on how to make the switch from gas to all-electric appliances. The challenge is finding <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-need-a-lemon-law-to-make-all-the-homes-we-buy-and-rent-more-energy-efficient-204369">trusted and independent information</a>.</p> <p>Not-for-profit organisation <a href="https://renew.org.au/">Renew</a> has compiled a range of <a href="https://renew.org.au/resources/how-we-can-help/efficient-electric-homes/how-we-can-help-going-off-gas/">presentations, guides, case studies and research</a>. <a href="https://www.choice.com.au/">Choice</a> provides independent reviews of household appliances, including operating costs. The Australian government’s <a href="https://www.energyrating.gov.au/">Energy Rating website</a> provides information on appliances to help consumers compare performance. Some <a href="https://www.yarracity.vic.gov.au/services/take-climate-action">local councils</a> and <a href="https://totallyrenewableyack.org.au/">community groups</a> also provide information, support and bulk-buying schemes.</p> <p>You could also visit some of the all-electric homes open to the public for <a href="https://sustainablehouseday.com/">Sustainable House Day</a>. This can help you learn what works from people who have already made the change.</p> <p>The <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/MyEfficientElectricHome">My Efficient Electric Home</a> group on Facebook is another active and helpful forum.</p> <p>If you are going all-electric as part of a wider retrofit, consider an independent <a href="https://www.homescorecard.gov.au/">Residential Efficiency Scorecard assessment</a>. This will help you understand what to else you can do to maximise <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-other-99-retrofitting-is-the-key-to-putting-more-australians-into-eco-homes-91231">thermal comfort, environmental benefits and financial outcomes</a>.</p> <h2>Tip 2 – Plan your approach</h2> <p>Once you understand what to do, the next step is planning how to go about it. Think about what is most important to your household. What is driving the change? If it’s your health, you might like to start by eliminating indoor air pollution from the gas stove. Or if you want to save money, start using reverse-cycle air conditioning to heat your home, rather than gas.</p> <p>There are three main ways to go all-electric:</p> <ul> <li> <p><strong>Replace all your gas appliances at once</strong>. Making the change quickly minimises disruption to your home. You may save money on installation costs by doing everything in one go. You will avoid ongoing fixed gas supply charges once you disconnect from the gas network, but you may be required to pay an “<a href="https://energy.act.gov.au/switching-off-your-gas-connection/">abolishment fee</a>” for permanent disconnection. That fee can vary significantly, depending on your location and gas provider. Costs <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/environment/sustainability/would-you-pay-1000-to-get-off-gas-consumer-dismay-over-disconnection-cost-20230223-p5cmw9.html">could be up to $1000 (or more)</a> but some states like Victoria have capped the price a <a href="https://reneweconomy.com.au/fossil-gas-death-spiral-regulator-sets-exit-fee-to-socialise-cost-of-mass-disconnection/">household can be charged at $220</a>. Renters wouldn’t be able to permanently disconnect without permission from the landlord, so they would still be open to paying the daily connection fee even if they found alternative electric options for everything else.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Replace your gas appliances one at a time</strong>, as finances allow. However, there will come a point where <a href="http://www.ata.org.au/wp-content/projects/CAP_Gas_Research_Final_Report_251114_v2.0.pdf">financially you will be better off</a> replacing all the remaining gas appliances. This is largely because it will not be affordable to keep paying the daily connection cost for gas if you just have one gas appliance remaining.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Just stop using gas appliances</strong> in favour of existing electric appliances that do the same job, such as a <a href="https://reneweconomy.com.au/the-traps-laid-by-the-fossil-gas-industry-for-uninformed-households/">reverse cycle air conditioner for space heating</a>. You may have – or can buy – plug-in electric alternatives, such as a microwave ovens, portable induction cooktops, air fryers and heaters. These can be a good option for renters when landlords won’t make changes.</p> </li> </ul> <p>You could even borrow portable appliances to see how they work before committing to buying your own.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tLjWZicC4mE?wmode=transparent&amp;start=2" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Households share their electrification journey (Renew)</span></figcaption></figure> <h2>Tip 3 – Access available rebates and resources</h2> <p>Most states offer various rebates for households to reduce the upfront cost of replacing gas appliances. These could reduce costs by thousands of dollars. Some rebates also target rental housing. Here is a list of key rebates available in different states:</p> <ul> <li><a href="https://www.epw.qld.gov.au/about/initiatives/household-energy-savings-program">Queensland</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.energy.nsw.gov.au/households/rebates-grants-and-schemes">New South Wales</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.climatechoices.act.gov.au/policy-programs/home-energy-support-rebates-for-homeowners">ACT</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.energy.vic.gov.au/for-households/victorian-energy-upgrades-for-households">Victoria</a></li> <li><a href="https://recfit.tas.gov.au/household_energy/energy_saver_loan_scheme">Tasmania</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.sa.gov.au/topics/energy-and-environment/using-saving-energy/retailer-energy-productivity-scheme">South Australia</a></li> </ul> <p>Some not-for-profit organisations (such as the <a href="https://www.bsl.org.au/services/energy-assistance/">Brotherhood of St Laurence</a>) offer financial and other support for lower-income households struggling to pay their energy bills.</p> <h2>Tip 4 – Wait for a sale or negotiate a better deal</h2> <p>It might sound simple but you can always save money by waiting until these electric appliances are on sale. If you are buying multiple appliances you can try to negotiate a better price. Factory seconds outlets offer lower prices as well.</p> <h2>Tip 5 – Know the issues</h2> <p>While the shift to all-electric will likely provide many benefits there are some things you need to consider:</p> <ul> <li>The carbon emissions from electricity are falling fast, and many homes have rooftop solar. Combining <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/report/getting-off-gas/">all-electric with solar panels</a> will maximise returns.</li> <li>You may have to adjust to how new technologies operate and perform. For example, you may need <a href="https://www.theage.com.au/goodfood/tips-and-advice/do-you-really-have-to-buy-new-cookware-all-your-burning-questions-about-induction-cooking-answered-20230810-p5dvd0.html">new, metallic cookware for an induction cooktop</a> and become familiar with their fast response. Additionally, some people find heat from reverse cycle air conditioners to be drier and/or draughtier than gas heating. Floor-mounted units heat more effectively.</li> <li>It is not just the energy performance of appliances that matters. For example, noise from heat pump hot water services can vary across different brands. They can also require more space for installation.</li> <li>Undertaking a wider energy retrofit (for example, increasing insulation in walls, ceiling and underfloor, upgrading windows to double glazing) may mean you can buy a smaller, cheaper reverse cycle air conditioner when replacing gas heating.</li> <li>Electric appliances also need maintenance to make sure they perform optimally. For example, reverse cycle air conditioners have filters that must be regularly cleaned. While this can be done by households, it can be hard for people with mobility issues.</li> <li>Depending on the capacity of your electricity switchboard or wiring, extra electric appliances may require upgrades.</li> <li>For renters, while you could use portable appliances, you may not be able to disconnect from gas completely, meaning you would still have to pay a daily connection fee.</li> <li>Gas and electricity prices can change over time, for many reasons. For example, if fixed gas distribution costs are spread over fewer customers.</li> </ul> <h2>A worthwhile investment</h2> <p>Australian states and territories have started banning gas in new builds. Victoria and the ACT will soon require <a href="https://theconversation.com/cooking-and-heating-without-gas-what-are-the-impacts-of-shifting-to-all-electric-homes-210649">new housing and major renovations to be all-electric</a>. Others are likely to follow.</p> <p>For people in existing housing around Australia, it can be daunting to make the switch. Many of us have grown up with gas in our homes and when one appliance breaks, the easiest thing to do is replace like-for-like. But the weight of evidence shows it’s worth taking the time to look at the alteratives and invest in upgrading to all-electric appliances. The benefits far outweigh the costs. <!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/211261/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/trivess-moore-12580">Trivess Moore</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Property, Construction and Project Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alan-pears-52">Alan Pears</a>, Senior Industry Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nicola-willand-441807">Nicola Willand</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Property, Construction and Project Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/5-tips-for-getting-off-gas-at-home-for-a-cleaner-cheaper-healthier-all-electric-future-211261">original article</a>.</em></p>

Home & Garden

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What is ‘fawning’? How is it related to trauma and the ‘fight or flight’ response?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alix-woolard-409037">Alix Woolard</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/telethon-kids-institute-1608">Telethon Kids Institute</a></em></p> <p>You have probably heard of “fight or flight” responses to distressing situations. You may also be familiar with the tendency to “freeze”. But there is another defence or survival strategy a person can have: “fawn”.</p> <p>When our brain perceives a threat in our environment, our <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/fight-flight-freeze#in-the-body">sympathetic nervous system</a> takes over and a person can experience any one or combination of the <a href="https://pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm">four F</a> responses.</p> <h2>What are the four Fs?</h2> <p>The <strong>fawn</strong> response usually occurs when a person is being attacked in some way, and they try to appease or placate their attacker to protect themselves.</p> <p>A <strong>fight</strong> response is when someone reacts to a threat with aggression.</p> <p><strong>Flight</strong> is when a person responds by fleeing – either literally by leaving the situation, or symbolically, by distracting or avoiding a distressing situation.</p> <p>A <strong>freeze</strong> response occurs when a person realises (consciously or not) that they cannot resist the threat, and they detach themselves or become immobile. They may “space out” and not pay attention, feel disconnected to their body, or have difficulty speaking after they feel threatened.</p> <h2>What does fawning look like?</h2> <p>Previously known as appeasement or “people pleasing”, the term “fawning” was coined by psychotherapist <a href="http://pete-walker.com/complex_ptsd_book.html">Pete Walker</a> in his 2013 book <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20556323-complex-ptsd">Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving</a>.</p> <p>A fawn response can look like:</p> <ul> <li>people-pleasing (doing things for others to gain their approval or to make others like you)</li> <li>being overly reliant on others (difficulty making decisions without other people’s input)</li> <li>prioritising the needs of others and ignoring your own</li> <li>being overly agreeable</li> <li>having trouble saying no</li> <li>in more severe cases, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763421004917?casa_token=FzabbqNoE0UAAAAA:DAr_QkVegIa70Zheq6vTkCrsYPJdw06kdds659h-VHSRtPSUErDzVgj-YsLunjvGkn4Mwyb1">dissociating</a> (disconnecting from your mind and/or body).</li> </ul> <p>While there isn’t yet much research on this response, the fawn response is seen more in people who have experienced <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00958964.2022.2163220?journalCode=vjee20">complex trauma</a> in their childhood, including among children who grew up with emotionally or physically abusive caregivers.</p> <p>Fawning is also observed in people who are in situations of <a href="https://europepmc.org/article/MED/37052112">interpersonal violence</a> (such as domestic violence, assault or kidnappings), when the person needs to appease or calm a perpetrator to survive.</p> <p>Fawning is also different to the other F responses, in that it seems to be a uniquely human response.</p> <h2>Why do people fawn?</h2> <p><a href="https://www.proquest.com/docview/2447256147/abstract/13E401AC2C1C40C6PQ/1">Research</a> suggests people fawn for two reasons:</p> <ol> <li>to protect themselves or others from physical or emotional harm (such as childhood trauma)</li> <li>to create or improve the emotional connection to the perpetrator of harm (for example, a caregiver).</li> </ol> <p>This type of response is adaptive at the time of the traumatic event(s): by appeasing an attacker or perpetrator, it helps the person avoid harm.</p> <p>However, if a person continues to use this type of response in the long term, as an automatic response to everyday stressors (such difficult interactions with your boss or neighbour), it can have negative consequences.</p> <p>If a person is continually trying to appease others, they may experience issues with boundaries, forming a cohesive identity, and may not feel safe in relationships with others.</p> <h2>What can I do if I ‘fawn’?</h2> <p>Because fawning is typically a response to interpersonal or complex trauma, using it in response to everyday stressors may indicate a need for healing.</p> <p>If this is you, and you have a history of complex trauma, seek psychological support from a professional who is trained in trauma-informed practice. Trauma-informed means the psychological care is holistic, empowering, strengths-focused, collaborative and reflective.</p> <p>Evidence-based therapies that are helpful following trauma include:</p> <ul> <li> <p><a href="https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/">eye movement desensitisation therapy</a>, which focuses on <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-is-emdr-therapy-and-how-does-it-help-people-who-have-experienced-trauma-161743">processing traumatic memories</a></p> </li> <li> <p><a href="https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/exposure-therapy#:%7E:text=In%20this%20form%20of%20therapy,reduce%20fear%20and%20decrease%20avoidance.">exposure therapy</a> to help expose people to things they fear and avoid</p> </li> <li> <p><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4396183/">trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy</a> that aims to alleviate trauma symptoms by overcoming unhelpful thoughts and behaviours.</p> </li> </ul> <p>Depending on where you live, <a href="https://www.childabuseroyalcommissionresponse.gov.au/support-services">free counselling services</a> may be available for people who have experienced childhood abuse.</p> <p>Setting healthy boundaries is also a common focus when working with the fawn response, which you can do by yourself or alongside a therapist.</p> <p><em>If this article has raised issues for you or you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.</em><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205024/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alix-woolard-409037">Alix Woolard</a>, Senior Researcher, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/telethon-kids-institute-1608">Telethon Kids Institute</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-is-fawning-how-is-it-related-to-trauma-and-the-fight-or-flight-response-205024">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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‘Psychological debriefing’ right after an accident or trauma can do more harm than good – here’s why

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/richard-bryant-161">Richard Bryant</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a></em></p> <p>The recent <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-06-18/hunter-valley-wedding-bus-crash-survivors-remain-in-hospital/102487630">tragic bus accident</a> in the New South Wales Hunter Valley has again raised the issue of how we address the potential psychological effects of traumatic events.</p> <p>It is interesting we revisit the same debate after each disaster, and few lessons have apparently been learned after decades of research. After the Hunter Valley accident, immediate psychological counselling was <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/jun/15/hunter-valley-bus-crash-company-issued-with-defect-notices-after-police-raid">offered to those affected</a>.</p> <p>While we can’t say what form of counselling was offered, the traditional approach is known as “<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1118833/">psychological debriefing</a>”. This typically involves counsellors providing trauma survivors with a single counselling intervention within days of the event.</p> <p>Although the content of the intervention can vary, it usually involves education about stress reactions, encouragement to disclose their memories of the experience, some basic stress-coping strategies and possibly referral information.</p> <p>But the evidence shows this approach, however well-meaning, may not help – or worse, do harm.</p> <h2>The belief that feelings must be shared</h2> <p>The encouragement of people to discuss their emotional reactions to a trauma is the result of a long-held notion in psychology (dating back to the classic writings of Sigmund Freud) that disclosure of one’s emotions is invariably beneficial for one’s mental health.</p> <p>Emanating from this perspective, the impetus for psychological debriefing has traditionally been rooted in the notion trauma survivors are vulnerable to psychological disorders, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), if they do not “talk through their trauma” by receiving this very <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1529100610387086">early intervention</a>.</p> <p>The scenario of trauma counsellors appearing in the acute aftermath of traumatic events has been commonplace for decades in Australia and elsewhere.</p> <p>Following the 9/11 terrorist attacks in New York City in 2001, up to 9,000 counsellors were mobilised and more than <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/22/nyregion/finding-cure-for-hearts-broken-sept-11-is-as-difficult-as-explaining-the-cost.html">US$200 million</a> was projected to meet a surge in mental health needs. But fewer people than expected sought help under this program and $90 million remained <a href="https://theconversation.com/9-11-anniversary-a-watershed-for-psychological-response-to-disasters-2975">unspent</a>.</p> <h2>What do we know about psychological reactions to disasters?</h2> <p>The overwhelming evidence indicates the majority of people will <a href="http://www.psychologicalscience.org/publications/journals/pspi/weighing-the-costs-of-disaster.html">adapt</a> to traumatic events without any psychological intervention.</p> <p>Long-term studies indicate approximately 75% of trauma survivors will not experience any long-term distress. Others will experience short-term distress and subsequently adapt. A minority (usually about 10%) will <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1529100610387086">experience chronic psychological problems</a>.</p> <p>This last group are the ones who require care and attention to reduce their mental health problems. Experts now agree other trauma survivors can rely on their own <a href="https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/problems-disorders/coping-after-a-traumatic-event">coping resources and social networks</a> to adapt to their traumatic experience.</p> <p>The finding across many studies that most people adapt to traumatic experiences <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1529100610387086">without formal mental health interventions</a> has been a major impetus for questioning the value of psychological debriefing in the immediate aftermath of disasters.</p> <p>In short, the evidence tells us universal interventions – such as psychological debriefing for everyone involved in a disaster – that attempt to prevent PTSD and other psychological disorders in trauma survivors are not indicated. These attempts <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1529100610387086#bibr448-1529100610387086">do not prevent</a> the disorder they are targeting.</p> <h2>Not a new conclusion</h2> <p>In the aftermath of the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami, the World Health Organization listed a warning (which <a href="https://www.who.int/teams/mental-health-and-substance-use/treatment-care/mental-health-gap-action-programme/evidence-centre/other-significant-emotional-and-medical-unexplained-somatic-complaints/psychological-debriefing-in-people-exposed-to-a-recent-traumatic-event">still stands</a>) that people should not be given single-session psychological debriefing because it is <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1529100610387086#bibr448-1529100610387086">not supported</a> by evidence.</p> <p>Worse than merely being ineffective, debriefing can be <a href="https://www.jenonline.org/article/S0099-1767(19)30453-2/fulltext#:%7E:text=It%20is%20for%20these%20reasons,%2C%20anxiety%20or%20depressive%20symptoms.%E2%80%9D">harmful for some people</a> and may increase the risk of PTSD.</p> <p>The group of trauma survivors that are most vulnerable to the toxic effects of debriefing are those who are more distressed in the acute phase right after the trauma. This group of people have worse mental health outcomes if they are provided with early debriefing.</p> <p>This may be because their trauma memories are over-consolidated as a result of the emotional disclosure so shortly after the event, when <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181836/#:%7E:text=Brain%20areas%20implicated%20in%20the,norepinephrine%20responses%20to%20subsequent%20stressors.">stress hormones</a> are still highly active.</p> <p>In normal clinical practice a person would be assessed in terms of their suitability for any psychological intervention. But in the case of universal psychological debriefing there is no prior assessment. Therefore, there’s no assessment of the risks the intervention may pose for the person.</p> <h2>Replacing debriefing</h2> <p>Most international bodies have shifted away from psychological debriefing. Early intervention might now be offered as “<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/psychological-first-aid">psychological first aid</a>”.</p> <p>This newer approach is meant to provide <a href="https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/9789241548205">fundamental support and coping strategies</a> to help the person manage the immediate aftermath of adversity. One of the most important differences between psychological first aid and psychological debriefing is that it does not encourage people to disclose their emotional responses to the trauma.</p> <p>But despite the increasing popularity of psychological first aid, it is difficult to assess its effectiveness as it does not explicitly aim to prevent a disorder, such as PTSD.</p> <h2>Wanting to help</h2> <p>So if there is so much evidence, why do we keep having this debate about the optimal way to assist psychological adaptation after disasters? Perhaps it’s because it’s human nature to want to help.</p> <p>The evidence suggests we should monitor the most vulnerable people and target resources towards them when they need it – usually some weeks or months later when the dust of the trauma has settled. Counsellors might want to promote their activities in the acute phase after disasters, but it may not be in the best interest of the trauma survivors.</p> <p>In short, we need to develop better strategies to ensure we are meeting the needs of the survivors, rather than the counsellors.</p> <hr /> <p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/208139/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></em></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/richard-bryant-161">Richard Bryant</a>, Professor &amp; Director of Traumatic Stress Clinic, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/psychological-debriefing-right-after-an-accident-or-trauma-can-do-more-harm-than-good-heres-why-208139">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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11 polite habits house cleaners secretly hate – and what to do instead

<p><strong>The dos and don'ts of cleaning etiquette</strong></p> <p>Housekeepers are like lawyers. They see you at your worst – yes, mostly your home, but you too – and keep their lips sealed. With a cleaning confidante like that, it’s only natural to want to do little things to show your appreciation, like asking about their lives or even helping them clean. But despite your good intentions, these kind gestures can sometimes miss the mark.</p> <p>The house cleaners we spoke with revealed tales of extra (dirty) work they were “trusted with” but didn’t want to do, “helpful” cleaning tips that weren’t actually helpful and little etiquette mistakes that simply sucked time from what you hired them to do: clean your house. To be fair, there aren’t any hard-and-fast etiquette rules on this topic. That’s why we asked cleaning experts to give us the inside scoop on some of the thoughtful things people do that drive them crazy – and what to do instead.</p> <p><strong>Cleaning before they arrive</strong></p> <p>You may truly believe you’re helping by cleaning before your housekeeper arrives, and maybe you are. It depends on what you mean by cleaning. If you’re quickly passing a mop over a grimy kitchen floor or wiping your granite benchtops with a wet sponge and not drying them, cleaning pros say, “Thanks, but no thanks.” With the grime now further embedded into the floor or streaks on the countertops, it could actually take them more time to fix your mistake. And at the very least, they’ll have to duplicate your work anyway.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: focus on the clutter. “Taking things off the counters and clearing the floors can help us work much faster, and that means a better cleaning for the same amount of money,” says housecleaner, Gretchen Boyd. “Clear the clutter for a better clean, but leave the scrubbing to us!”</p> <p><strong>Talking to them while they're cleaning</strong></p> <p>After a while, your housekeeper becomes more like a friend. You ask them about their lives and their families, and they certainly know all about yours. It would be rude not to talk to them while they’re there. Plus, they’re doing all the tasks you don’t want to do, so the least you could do is make things less boring with a little chitchat, right? Nope! In fact, that ‘entertaining’ chitchat can really mess with their cleaning schedule.</p> <p>“Once, a client wanted to discuss a personal issue with me while I was cleaning their home. I was happy to listen, but it extended my cleaning time by about 15 to 20 minutes,” says cleaner Laura Avila.  “I enjoy getting to know my clients, but it’s important to keep in mind that my priority is to provide them with a clean space, and conversations can sometimes hinder that goal.”</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: spend a few minutes chatting when your housekeeper arrives, then let them get to work. “What I really appreciate is when clients give me some space to work in silence or maybe put on some music that we can both enjoy without having to chat the whole time,” says Avila. “That way, I can focus on doing a great job and getting everything cleaned up efficiently.”</p> <p><strong>Following them around while they work</strong></p> <p>You’re not hovering; you’re keeping them company. Nope, sorry – you’re hovering. Even if you think you’re being polite by showing an interest in their work or keeping them company, this polite gesture rarely comes across as you’re hoping. Instead, house cleaners say that having someone watching them while they scrub and scour the shower gives the impression that the client doubts if their cleaner even knows how to clean the bathroom at all. And having someone watching your every move can be distracting and unnerving.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: “I prefer when clients let me work on my own,” says Avila. If you have specific requests or concerns, talk them over when your housekeeper first arrives. Checking on progress or asking questions is fine, but minimise those types of interactions. That way, they can focus on doing the amazing job that you want them to do.</p> <p><strong>Offering agency workers extra pay for extra work </strong></p> <p>Who wouldn’t like to make some extra cash easily? Customers who go through an agency may think they are helping their house cleaner by offering extra payment for work that isn’t in the contract. What they don’t realise is that this may actually be against company policy, and their house cleaner could get in trouble. Beyond that, because professional cleaners allocate a set amount of time for each job, doing that additional chore could cause them to run late to their other clients’ homes, says Rachel Rios, a cleaning professional. All this also puts the cleaner in the awkward position of having to say no and disappoint the client.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: talk to the agency ahead of time if you have a special request. Agree upon any additional charges it may incur, as well as when the cleaning will take place.</p> <p><strong>Giving vague instructions</strong></p> <p>Sometimes, clients feel like giving too many instructions will insult the cleaning pro – after all, this is their job. Or they figure the cleaner knows to include tasks like cleaning ceiling fans and windows in their weekly routine, so they casually say something like: “Clean the living room.” The problem? Without specific instructions on which areas of the house to clean, which surfaces to focus on or what kind of cleaning products to use, a house cleaner is not sure what exactly needs to be done.</p> <p>There may also be confusion about whether “cleaning” entails a thorough wipe-down or a deep-clean. “Each client has different preferences and expectations,” says Hugo Guerrero, a certified house cleaning technician, “so it’s important to communicate clearly.”</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: provide a list with specific details about how each task should be completed. “Be specific,” says Guerrero. “That way, there are fewer misunderstandings and more satisfactory cleaning jobs.”</p> <p><strong>Moving items before they arrive</strong></p> <p>You might think you’re helping your house cleaner by moving sculptures, photographs, vases and other home accessories off table tops and shelves. But this ends up creating more work for them, as well as confusion. After all, now they don’t know where these items belong – and where they should put them once they’re clean. They might also knock them over if you put them in a strange spot or accidentally break them while moving them back in place.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: leave everything in its original position, and let the cleaners move the items themselves. “Doing so makes it easier for the cleaner, who is used to cleaning a certain way,” says Ahmad Jamal, a cleaning expert with Cleaners Advisor. “When clients move items around, I may need to move things back to their original place in order to clean properly.” Plus, those decorative items need to be dusted and cleaned as well, and there’s a specific way to do that. If you need anything in particular moved, let your cleaner know in advance.</p> <p><strong>Pre-soaking the shower or tub with bleach</strong></p> <p>Clients who don’t really know how to clean a bathtub the right way may think it’s helpful to pre-soak the shower or bathtub with bleach, but this can actually be incredibly dangerous for your house cleaner. If the area is not rinsed thoroughly, it could result in a chemical reaction with the cleaning supplies the cleaning pro is using in your bathroom. For example, when bleach mixes with ammonia, it produces an odourless, toxic gas that can cause respiratory distress and even death.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: “If you do decide to do any pre-cleaning before your house cleaner arrives, communicate which chemicals you used and where,” says Toby Schulz, CEO of Maid2Match in Australia. “And please remember to make sure the room is well ventilated.”</p> <p><strong>Leaving a key with a neighbour </strong></p> <p>Sometimes scheduling conflicts arise, and you need to arrange for your house cleaner to get a key to your home. Of course, you don’t want to cancel at the last minute and totally upend your cleaning pro’s schedule, and this is a good solution. Well, it is when it goes off without a hitch … which rarely happens. What if the neighbour isn’t home or doesn’t hear the doorbell?</p> <p>“This never seems to quite work as planned,” says cleaner, Olive Cantor. “Plus, the entire cleaning job runs late, and that can impact not only our client’s cleaning but also our entire day.”</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: work out a mutually agreeable option, like bringing your key to your house cleaner earlier in the day or hiding it away in an uncommon place like under a driveway paver. If you’re looking for a more permanent solution, you might want to invest in a smart lock that lets you provide an employee with “digital keys” that work just for that day.</p> <p><strong>Providing your own cleaning products and tools</strong></p> <p>It’s a nice gesture to want to provide everything your house cleaner needs so it’s all right there waiting for them and they don’t have to lug it to your house every week. But insisting on the wrong tools and products can actually make the job harder, especially when you leave out all those items to “help.”</p> <p>“This [makes] it hard to find my way around and determine the right way to clean each surface,” says Jenna Shaughnessy, a former professional house cleaner who’s currently a home decor and DIY expert. “While you may have excellent intentions, it might make cleaning harder and take more time.”</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: communicate your preferences in advance (like, maybe you only want natural cleaning products or your kid is allergic to a certain scent), and then discuss your house cleaner’s preferences as well. They’re the pros, after all, and they know what’s good! Perhaps they find a certain vacuum to be more effective or love a product that cuts their work time in half.</p> <p>You can also discuss whether they would like you to stock up on these items for them or if they would prefer to bring their own supplies. “That way,” says Avila, “I can be sure that I’m using things I’m familiar with and that I know will work well for the job.”</p> <p><strong>Offering 'helpful advice' while they're working</strong></p> <p>It’s your home, and it has some quirks. To be fair, so do you. And you know your house cleaner wants to do the job to your specifications, so if you happen to be in the same room and notice they could be doing something differently, you might want to offer your two cents, whether it’s about the best way to clean that tricky oven rack or how to scrub the stainless steel sink. But truly, resist the urge.</p> <p>Lauren Doss, owner of a cleaning business, notes that all the stopping, starting and direction-giving makes it difficult to work efficiently. With one client who wanted things done a very specific way and kept interjecting as she worked, Doss says it “added a lot of time to the job, as I had to double-check each step with them.” Not to mention that this behaviour shows a lack of trust, even if you aren’t quite as intrusive as that client was.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: Provide clear instructions to your cleaner before they start working, then let them do their job. “It’s important for clients to trust their housekeeping professionals and allow them to work without interference,” says Doss. “If there’s a problem, offer constructive criticism rather than nitpicking.”</p> <p><strong>Not wanting to burden your house cleaner with other home problems </strong></p> <p>House cleaners don’t need to know tiny details about every maintenance issue in your house. Too much information! However, let’s be clear: they sure appreciate your telling them about problems that affect their job. A burned-out bulb in the fridge is not important … but a clogged toilet definitely is.</p> <p>And that’s not the only potential issue here. “I had one client who failed to tell me that the door on their second oven was loose,” recounts Cantor. “I went to open the oven to clean it, and off came the door! Not only was that scary – and potentially dangerous – but I was then worried that I was the one who broke it.”</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: let your house cleaner know if something they are going to be cleaning or using is broken. If you won’t be home when your house cleaner arrives, leave sticky notes on problem places. In the case of the broken oven door, Cantor says, “a little heads-up would have saved a lot of stress for everyone!”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/food-home-garden/11-polite-habits-house-cleaners-secretly-hate-and-what-to-do-instead?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Home & Garden

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The Dark Side of the Moon at 50: how Marx, trauma and compassion all influenced Pink Floyd’s masterpiece

<p><em>Dixi et salvavi animam meam.</em></p> <p>This Latin phrase – I have spoken and saved my soul – sits at the end of Karl Marx’s <a href="https://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1875/gotha/">Critique of the Gotha Programme</a>. </p> <p>Written in 1875, this text imagines a communist society that will come about “after the enslaving of the individual to the division of labour, and thereby also the antithesis between mental and physical labour has vanished”. </p> <p>Only then, Marx argues, “can the narrow horizon of bourgeois right be completely transcended and society inscribe on its banners: from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs!”</p> <p>Roger Waters – bassist, lyricist and conceptual mastermind behind Pink Floyd’s 1973 album <em>The Dark Side of the Moon</em>, released 50 years ago today – knows Marx’s Critique. Indeed, he quotes it when discussing the record with music journalist John Harris. </p> <p>“Making <em>The Dark Side of the Moon</em>, we were all trying to do as much as we possibly could,” Waters <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/301401">told</a> Harris.</p> <p>"It was a very communal thing. What’s that old Marxist maxim? ‘From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.’ That’s sort of the way the band worked at that point."</p> <p>Assertions about solidarity, cooperation and shared “unity of purpose” – as Waters says – situate <em>Dark Side</em> in the context of Pink Floyd’s <a href="https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/pink-floyd-roger-waters-david-gilmour-feud/">notoriously fractious</a> recording career and helps us understand the album’s enduring appeal.</p> <h2>Shine on you crazy diamond</h2> <p>Pink Floyd formed in London in 1965. Led by the charismatic songwriter, guitarist and lead vocalist Syd Barrett, the group established itself as a leader in the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UK_underground">London underground music scene</a>. They released their debut album <em>The Piper at the Gates of Dawn</em> in 1967.</p> <p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soft_Machine">Soft Machine</a> member Kevin Ayers <a href="https://www.bloomsbury.com/au/pink-floyds-the-piper-at-the-gates-of-dawn-9781441185174/">described</a> <em>The Piper at the Gates of Dawn</em> as “something magical, but it was in Syd Barrett”. </p> <p>Not long after the record’s release, Barrett suffered a catastrophic, LSD-induced breakdown. In response, the band recruited David Gilmour on guitar and recorded a second album, <em>A Saucerful of Secrets</em>, as a five-piece in 1968. Around this time, the increasingly unstable Barrett was unceremoniously ousted by the rest of the band. </p> <p>After Barrett left, says Ayers, “Pink Floyd became something else totally”. </p> <p>There are different versions of Pink Floyd. The recordings released after Barrett left the band in 1968 bear little resemblance to the first. </p> <p><em>Dark Side</em> sounds nothing like the whimsical Piper. But it is obvious the record is in large part preoccupied with the loss of Barrett.</p> <p>This preoccupation comes to the fore in the album’s penultimate track.</p> <p><em><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1OOQP1-wOE&amp;ab_channel=HDPinkFloyd">Brain Damage</a></em>, written and sung by Waters, references Barrett’s adolescence (“Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs”), alludes to his illness (“And if the dam breaks open many years too soon”), and acknowledges his leaving the group (“And if the band you’re in starts playing different tunes; I’ll see you on the dark side of the Moon”). </p> <p>Drummer Nick Mason confirms the group didn’t want to lose Barrett.</p> <p>In his <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/265734.Inside_Out">autobiography</a>, he writes, "He was our songwriter, singer, guitarist, and – although you might not have known from our less than sympathetic treatment of him – he was our friend."</p> <h2>If the dam breaks open many years too soon</h2> <p>What we hear on <em>The Dark Side of the Moon</em> is a band dealing with trauma. </p> <p>In this sense, Dark Side represents the start of a reckoning with the past – a process that culminated with the band’s next record, 1975’s elegiac <em><a href="https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/wish-you-were-here-pink-floyd-seminal-ode-to-the-tragic-life-of-syd-barrett/">Wish You Were Here</a></em>.</p> <p>Culmination is a useful term when it comes to <em>Dark Side</em> more generally. On this record, all the avant-garde techniques and tendencies the band had toyed with in the post-Barrett period – <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Musique_concr%C3%A8te">musique concrète</a>, sonic manipulation, extended improvisation, analogue tape manipulation – come together to spectacular effect. </p> <p><em><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0kcet4aPpQ">Money</a> –</em> with its anti-capitalist lyrics penned by Waters (“Money, it’s a crime; share it fairly, but don’t take a slice of my pie”), odd time signature, and handmade tape-loops mimicking the sounds of cash tills, bags of coins being dropped from great height and bank notes being torn up – is one of the stranger hit singles in pop music history. </p> <p>Be that as it may, Money and the album from which it is taken, of which <a href="https://www.pinkfloyd.com/tdsotm50/">more than 50 million copies</a> have been sold, continue to resonate with listeners worldwide, five decades on from its initial release.</p> <h2>The enormous risk of being truly banal</h2> <p>“I made a conscious effort when I was writing the lyrics for <em>Dark Side of the Moon</em> to take the enormous risk of being truly banal about a lot of it,” Waters told John Harris, “in order that the ideas should be expressed as simply and plainly as possible.”</p> <p>On this point, <a href="https://www.loudersound.com/news/david-gilmour-says-its-pretty-unlikely-he-and-roger-waters-will-resolve-pink-floyd-feud">if nothing else</a>, David Gilmour agrees. He told Harris, "There was definitely a feeling that the words were going to be very clear and specific. That was a leap forward. Things would mean what they meant. That was a distinct step away from what we had done before."</p> <p>Mortality, insanity, conflict, affluence, poverty and, in another nod to Marx, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marx%27s_theory_of_alienation">alienation</a> are some of the themes presented on the record. The need – and this brings us full circle – for compassion, if not outright solidarity, is another. </p> <p>This is an album about the importance of understanding, as Waters <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/301401">insists, "T</a>he potential that human beings have for recognising each other’s humanity and responding to it, with empathy rather than antipathy."</p> <p>Given the sorry state of the world in 2023, about which Roger Waters has many <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-64580688">contentious</a> and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/music/2023/feb/07/pink-floyd-lyricist-calls-roger-waters-an-antisemite-and-putin-apologist">problematic</a> things to say, I wager Pink Floyd’s masterwork will continue to resonate with listeners for a while yet.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-dark-side-of-the-moon-at-50-how-marx-trauma-and-compassion-all-influenced-pink-floyds-masterpiece-198400" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Music

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13 clever house-cleaning hacks from professional cleaners

<p><strong>Don't forget the doormat</strong></p> <p>Doormats are your best friend when it comes to trapping dirt, so make sure you have two – one outside the house and one inside.</p> <p>This tip is especially helpful when there’s a lot of rain and you have wet, muddy shoes going in and out of the house.</p> <p>Just be sure to clean the mats regularly as dirty mats contribute to the mess.</p> <p><strong>Combine tasks</strong></p> <p>Kill two birds with one stone by doing similar cleaning tasks at the same time.</p> <p>“Clean your baseboards when you are vacuuming or washing floors, clean blinds when you are cleaning windows, etc,” suggests Becky Rapinchuk, owner of <a href="https://www.cleanmama.net/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CleanMama.net.</a></p> <p><strong>Skip the bucket</strong></p> <p>Sometimes moving around the mop bucket only makes more of a mess thanks to the dirty water splashing around.</p> <p>Leslie Reichert, founder of The Green Cleaning Coach and author of <em>The Joy Of Green Cleaning</em>, has a bucket-less mopping technique that works wonders: a spray bottle filled with diluted cleaning solution and a microfibre mop. Or choose a mop that allows you to fill the base with water and a little floor cleaner and spray from the handle as you go.</p> <p><strong>Stock up on products</strong></p> <p>No, a bathroom tile cleaner shouldn’t be used to wipe down your mirrors.</p> <p>“The right products that actually clean go a long way to getting the job done more effectively and efficiently for you,” says McGee.</p> <p><strong>Buy a soap dispenser dish brush</strong></p> <p>According to Dana White, founder of <a href="https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A Slob Comes Clean</a>, you can use a soap dispenser dish brush in your shower.</p> <p>“Mark it for the bathroom only with a permanent marker, and fill it with your favorite dish soap,” she says.</p> <p>“Hang it in the shower, and you can scrub the shower while you’re in it anyway. Dish soap does a great job cleaning the bathroom!”</p> <p><strong>Vacuum the right way</strong></p> <p>Rapinchuk recommends first vacuuming a room horizontally and then vertically to get all of the trapped dirt.</p> <p>Most cleaning experts agree that vacuuming slowly is also very important to ensure that vacuum picks up all the dirt particles.</p> <p><strong>Define "clean"</strong></p> <p>Everyone has a different idea of what “clean” actually means.</p> <p>Some think a sparkling floor is clean, while others are happy with just doing a load of laundry.</p> <p>Beth McGee, author of <em>Get Your House Clean Now: The Home Cleaning Method Anyone Can Master</em>, suggests asking yourself questions like how much stuff do I have and what type of home do I have to determine what clean and organised really means to you.</p> <p><strong>A pillowcase can be a cleaner</strong></p> <p>Obviously, you don’t want to use the pillowcase you sleep on every night, but using a pillowcase to clean your ceiling fans is a hack that you need to try ASAP.</p> <p>“The pillowcase holds the dust so it doesn’t fall on a table or bed,” says Reichert.</p> <p>“A very clean way to dust a fan.”</p> <p><strong>Create a cleaning plan</strong></p> <p>We all have those random cleaning bursts, but having a plan beforehand will make your cleaning process smoother.</p> <p>“Cleaning is really like a dance. You start high, work down and around, and carefully observe anything that needs attention,” says McGee.</p> <p>“As you move around, wipe light switches, door frames, baseboards, walls, working in a circle around a room and not back and forth from one thing across the room to another. Don’t get distracted, keep a smooth motion around your home.”</p> <p><strong>Use your dishwasher</strong></p> <p>Dishwashers are for so much more than just washing dishes.</p> <p>Reichert recommends using yours to dust off knickknacks like jars, toys and glass candle globes.</p> <p>Pretty much anything glass or ceramic should be fine going in the dishwasher, but you do want to stay away from putting meltable plastics.</p> <p><strong>DIY cleaning solutions</strong></p> <p>Want to know the secret to streak-free mirrors and windows? Well, it’s an easy at-home solution you can make yourself. According to Rapinchuk, all you need is:</p> <ul> <li>1 1/2 cups water</li> <li>1 1/2 tablespoons white vinegar</li> <li>1 1/2 tablespoons rubbing alcohol</li> <li>3 drops peppermint essential oil</li> </ul> <p>Place in a spray bottle, and away you go.</p> <p><strong>Clean the toilet daily</strong></p> <p>If you swish your toilet every day with your cleaning brush, you’ll keep it relatively clean without a ton of hard labour.</p> <p>Use the water already in the toilet to swish the entire toilet bowl.</p> <p>Your bathroom probably gets dirtiest the fastest and is the hardest to clean.</p> <p><strong>Skip the polish</strong></p> <p>Of course, you need to polish your wooden furniture and hardwood floors every once in a while (once or twice a year, or when they begin to look foggy), but all you really need to keep them shiny is a dry microfibre cloth.</p> <p>“Your furniture will actually get less dusty without using furniture polish,” says Reichert.</p> <p><strong>Prioritise</strong></p> <p>“[Start] with scrubbing areas such as kitchens and baths, then moving on to de-cluttering, dusting, bedding, and finally floors,” McGee advises.</p> <p>“Look at your home carefully to determine what needs most attention to bring it to your idea of clean.”</p> <p><strong>Speed clean</strong></p> <p>Maybe you just found out your in-laws are coming over and you need to quickly tidy up the place – knowing how to speed clean will be your saviour.</p> <p>Make sure you hit the places that are most visible first like kitchen countertops and the bathroom.</p> <p>You can skimp on things like the top of the fridge and behind the coffee maker.</p> <p><strong>Purchase a paintbrush</strong></p> <p>Reichert uses a stiff paintbrush around her furniture to pull the dirt out without having to move all the furniture around.</p> <p>“You are brushing it out away from the furniture so the vacuum can suck it up,” she says.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/home-tips/clever-house-cleaning-hacks-professionals-swear?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Home & Garden

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13 ways you’re shortening the life of your vacuum cleaner

<p><strong>You don't remove clogs</strong></p> <p>Do a quick visual check for clogs to the hose and wand after every time you use your vacuum cleaner. Unclogging your hoses not only improves suction power, but it can help the vacuum run more efficiently and last longer. </p> <p>If you can’t reach the jammed debris with your hand, use a mop handle or a gardening stake to push it through. An easy test: After detaching the hose and wand, try sliding a coin through them. If it gets stuck, you know it’s clogged.</p> <p><strong>Not winding up the cord after you've finished</strong></p> <p>It’s easy to get lazy and leave the power cord out to get stepped on by family and pets. But by winding the cord into a tidy coil after vacuuming, you can prevent damage, while also avoiding potential hazards including electrocution for family pets or inquisitive crawlers who like to chew. </p> <p>If you don’t have time to wrap up the cord, at the very least, you should always unplug it.</p> <p><strong>You're not detangling brushes</strong></p> <p>Most vacuum cleaners have rotating brushes at the intake port that kick dust and dirt loose from the carpet so they can get sucked up by the air stream. But when hair, pet fur, or loose string gets trapped in the brushes, they can’t work as effectively. </p> <p>Using a small pair of scissors, gently cut through the debris to free up the brushes, then use a comb to smooth them out.</p> <p><strong>Not replacing the bag or emptying the canister</strong></p> <p>Whether your vacuum uses a bag, canister, or cup, an overfilled unit will run less efficiently and not last as long. While it’s easy to tell when a bagless unit is full, it can be harder to tell when a vacuum bag needs replacing. </p> <p>If you notice a drop in suction, it could be a sign it’s full of lightweight, fluffy material such as pet hair. For maximum performance and to make your vacuum last longer, replace the bag or empty the canister or cup when it is half to two-thirds full.</p> <p><strong>You're not changing out or cleaning the filters</strong></p> <p>Each vacuum is different, but your manual should indicate how often filters need to be replaced or cleaned. Many vacuum models come with an accordion-shaped paper filter and a sponge-like ring filter. For units with washable filters, be sure to follow the washing guidelines from the manual. </p> <p>Of course, the frequency will vary depending on how often you vacuum and how messy your floors are. If the filter looks dirty, it’s time to switch it out or clean it.</p> <p><strong>You're not replacing the drive belt</strong></p> <p>This belt wraps around the beater brush allowing it to turn. If it’s not working correctly, the beater brush won’t loosen dirt and debris from the carpet fibres. </p> <p>By flipping the power-head over, you can glance at the belt, looking for tears or cracks. If the belt looks loose, that’s another sign it’s time for a new belt.</p> <p><strong>Using the wrong setting</strong></p> <p>Most vacuum cleaners have different settings depending on the type of flooring you are cleaning, i.e. wood or carpet. If you’re using the wrong setting, this can render the vacuum cleaner less effective and may shorten the life of your unit. </p> <p>“Setting your vacuum on the lowest setting may not be the best option to get enough airflow for the suction action,” reports Angie’s List.</p> <p><strong>Storing attachments separately</strong></p> <p>Attachments usually come with a storage spot, either on the vacuum itself or in a separate box or bag, yet it’s easy to get lazy. Sometimes, we leave a dusting brush or an upholstery tool on the side table instead of walking it down to the hall cupboard. </p> <p>Not that big of a deal, right? Until it gets lost or stolen by your puppy for her new chew toy. By storing the attachments together with the vacuum cleaner in a safe spot, parts are less likely to be damaged or get lost.</p> <p><strong>Not pre-cleaning the areas</strong></p> <p>To stretch out the life of your vacuum cleaner, give the room a once-over. Move backpacks, socks, or clothing with drawstrings to prevent them from catching in the belt. While you can turn off the vacuum and pull them out, over time it could loosen the belt and shorten the life of your vacuum cleaner. </p> <p>Next, check for fallen food items like chips or cookies or small toys like building bricks. Scoop them before vacuuming the area.</p> <p><strong>Not stopping when there's smoke</strong></p> <p>This might seem really obvious, but sometimes we get into turbo-mode – pushing the vacuum beyond its limits. Then even when we smell smoke, we optimistically assume we can fit in just one more room before problem-solving. But prevention is key. </p> <p>“When stress to the motor is present, the motor heats up and usually burns the belt, causing smoke,” suggests Do It Yourself. They advise cutting the burnt belt off with scissors, then replacing it before continuing to vacuum.</p> <p><strong>Using it too often</strong></p> <p>Think about what’s making your floors dirty in the first place, then try to circumvent it so you can use your vacuum cleaner less frequently. Try storing your shoes in a bin by the front door, for instance. </p> <p>Other tricks: Instead of taking snacks to your TV-room, eat at your kitchen table so you don’t get crumbs everywhere, and brush pets outdoors on a regular basis to decrease the amount of pet hair on your floors and furniture.</p> <p><strong>Not using a surge protector</strong></p> <p>These aren’t just for your computers or TVs. A surge protector can “prevent an electronic shortage from spurts of electricity that go beyond the voltage limits.” </p> <p>The stronger the burst, the more likely your vacuum can get damaged. Causes of power surges vary from downed power lines to lightning storms.</p> <p><strong>Not reading the manual </strong></p> <p>Many people skip reading the manual until there is a problem, but by then it might be too late. Each company’s manual contains important safety instructions and warnings, such as “Do not handle the machine or plug with wet hands.” Pretty obvious – sure – but it could save your life.</p> <p>They also give troubleshooting tips for how to care for and maintain your vacuum cleaner along with warranty information, which is especially important if you are switching to a new brand.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/food-home-garden/home-tips/13-ways-youre-shortening-the-life-of-your-vacuum-cleaner?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Home & Garden

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Professional cleaner shares her holy grail products

<p dir="ltr">A professional cleaner has shared her holy grail products, revealing what she would never use to clean with and what she would use for alternatives. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 22-year-old cleaner and business owner hit the cleaning aisle of her local supermarket to suggest swapping out some popular products for “better results” and to make cleaning “simple, cost effective and less toxic”.</p> <p dir="ltr">She would never use products like Ajax Spray N' Wipe, Windex glass cleaner, Easy Off soap scum remover and White King two-in-one mould and soap scum remover.</p> <p dir="ltr">The cleaner, who owns <a href="https://www.spotoncleaningsydney.com/">Spot On Cleaning Sydney</a>, first suggested swapping Ajax Spray N' Wipe for Morning Fresh washing up liquid mixed with water. </p> <p dir="ltr">She said that mixing a small amount of dishwashing liquid with water would produce better results on commonly used surfaces. </p> <p dir="ltr">She also said the solution works better than Windex to get glass surfaces sparkling without the need to buy different products. </p> <p dir="ltr">Her next tip was to swap Easy Off soap scum spray for Bar Keepers Friend, which is a 'better alternative for built up soap scum and water stains'.</p> <p dir="ltr">The woman also recommended swapping out White King two-in-one mould and soap scum spray for Selleys rapid mould killer for better, longer lasting results. </p> <p dir="ltr">Her followers were thrilled with the cleaning hacks, with one person calling her a “life saver” after following her cleaning tips. </p> <p dir="ltr">Another follower said, 'Yes! Dishwashing liquid is literally so great for cleaning so many things. Surface cleaners only leave residue when not wiped off after spraying.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Despite the flood of praise, others were concerned that using dishwashing liquid won’t have the same germ-fighting results as sprays. </p> <p dir="ltr">“But dish liquid won't kill surface germs like surface spray?” one woman asked.</p> <p dir="ltr">However the cleaner assures her it “absolutely” will, “after all it is designed to clean dishes and kill bacteria,” she wrote. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

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New study to “give hope” to childhood trauma survivors with depression

<p dir="ltr">A new study has challenged our understanding of how to treat adults with a history of childhood trauma, revealing that using psychotherapy, medication or a combination of the two are effective treatments for those with depression.</p> <p dir="ltr">Childhood trauma, defined as abuse or neglect of a person before they are 18 years old, is a known risk factor for major depressive disorders in adulthood. It often results in symptoms that start earlier, last longer and are more frequent, and increases the risk of developing co-occurring diseases and conditions.</p> <p dir="ltr">The study, published in <em><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S2215-0366(22)00227-9" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Lancet Psychiatry</a></em>, found that adult survivors of childhood trauma who receive these common treatments experience improved symptoms at the same rate as those without childhood trauma.</p> <p dir="ltr">While previous studies have indicated that common treatments for major depressive disorders are less effective for people with childhood trauma, the team argues that these findings are inconsistent.</p> <p dir="ltr">The team then examined data from 29 clinical trials of psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy (the use of prescribed medications) among adults with major depressive disorders to determine whether those with trauma were more severely depressed before treatment, had more unfavourable outcomes after treatment, and whether they were less likely to benefit from treatment in comparison to those without trauma.</p> <p dir="ltr">Among the 46 percent of participants with childhood trauma, the team found that they showed more severe symptoms at the start of treatment and after treatment in comparison to the control group (those without trauma).</p> <p dir="ltr">But, they found that both groups experienced an improvement in symptoms at a similar rate.</p> <p dir="ltr">Erika Kuzminskaite, a PhD candidate and the first author of the study, said that this finding could be a source of hope.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Finding that patients with depression and childhood trauma experience similar treatment outcome when compared to patients without trauma can give hope to people who have experienced childhood trauma,” Kuzminskaite said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Nevertheless, residual symptoms following treatment in patients with childhood trauma warrant more clinical attention as additional interventions may still be needed.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Antoine Yrondi, a professor at the University of Toulouse who wasn’t involved in the research, wrote that the study provides a message of hope for patients.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This meta-analysis could deliver a hopeful message to patients with childhood trauma that evidence-based psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy could improve depressive symptoms,” Dr Yrondi said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“However, physicians should keep in mind that childhood trauma could be associated with clinical features which may make it more difficult to reach complete symptomatic remission and, therefore, have an impact on daily functioning.”</p> <p dir="ltr">According to <a href="https://blueknot.org.au/resources/blue-knot-fact-sheets/trauma-classification/what-is-childhood-trauma/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Blue Knot</a>, childhood trauma can have a wider and more extreme impact than trauma we experience as adults because a child’s brain is still developing. If the trauma is unresolved, coping strategies developed during childhood can become risk factors for poorer psychological and physical health in adulthood.</p> <p dir="ltr">But, it is possible to recover from childhood trauma, with this latest study going to show that common treatments can be effective.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>If you’re in need of support, you can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Blue Knot on 1300 657 380.</em></p> <p><em><span id="docs-internal-guid-62551377-7fff-7a7f-9e23-d352d2c29923"></span></em></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Mind

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Not “your average beanie”: Smart Aussie invention to help stroke and trauma patients

<p dir="ltr">A new ‘smart helmet’ packed with tech is being developed to monitor brains of patients who have suffered a stroke, injury or trauma by a team of Australian scientists and developers thanks to funding from the Victorian government.</p> <p dir="ltr">Patients with these kinds of injuries often experience brain swelling and have parts of their skull removed to prevent the brain from pushing on structures such as the brainstem, the part of the brain that regulates the cardiovascular and respiratory systems, <a href="https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/news/story/brain-drowns-in-its-own-fluid-after-a-stroke" target="_blank" rel="noopener">which can be fatal</a>.</p> <p dir="ltr">The SkullPro, developed by Anatomics Pty Ltd and the CSIRO, is a customised protective helmet that includes sensors that relay data back to the patient’s neurosurgeon to help them determine the best time to repair the skull.</p> <p dir="ltr">With the helmet, the conditions of patients’ brains can be monitored while they recover at home.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-c30fb9f0-7fff-5de6-6b83-53be40564edb"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">Neurosurgeons can monitor their brain function in real time thanks to a ‘brain machine interface’ developed using machine learning, advanced sensors and microelectronics.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CDApuNgj68s/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CDApuNgj68s/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Anatomics (@anatomicsrx)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews announced that Anatomics’ development of the helmet would be among 11 Victorian medical technology products funded through the latest round of MedTech grants.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This isn’t your average beanie. This is a Smart Helmet,” Mr Andrews <a href="https://www.facebook.com/DanielAndrewsMP/posts/pfbid02SJfjW1BcypXz8ubJHtQUTPvG349spbWAch4Eib1nguHedjAH1fFhWg4DaPJ9V5kNl" target="_blank" rel="noopener">wrote</a> on social media.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It helps monitor the brains of patients who've had a stroke or suffered traumatic brain injury. It lets doctors know how the brain is healing and helps surgeons decide on the ideal time to perform operations on the skull to give patients the best possible chance of a full recovery. It's been researched, designed and manufactured right here in Bentleigh East by Anatomics.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It's the kind of technology that doesn't just save lives – it changes lives too.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Mr Andrews added that the series of grants would help support “Victorian innovation” and create jobs.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We're backing Anatomics and 11 other Victorian medical technology manufacturers with a new round of MedTech grants. Creating jobs and supporting Victorian innovation,” the post continued.</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2c713391-7fff-9b9e-2205-2217707d9715"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">“That's something we can all get behind.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B8xqoDDnORs/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B8xqoDDnORs/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Anatomics (@anatomicsrx)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">The team developing the SkullPro hope it will lay the foundation for research relating to brain injuries, diagnostics, and treatments in Australia.</p> <p dir="ltr">In a <a href="https://www.anatomics.com/au/news/2020/07/24/smart-skullpro.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">statement</a>, Professor Paul D’Urso, a neurosurgeon and the founder of Anatomics, said the grant would “greatly benefit brain injured patients throughout the world”.</p> <p dir="ltr">"The recently announced funding through MTPConnect’s BioMedTech Horizons program will allow Anatomics and CSIRO to lay the foundations for advanced diagnostics and therapies for decades to come that will greatly benefit brain injured patients through-out the world,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"We should all be proud of the pioneering R&amp;D (Research &amp; Development) that has already occurred in Australia and the opportunities that this grant will deliver to our future."</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bb14f8a1-7fff-b6d7-650f-abcedbfc94fc"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: @anatomicsrx (Instagram)</em></p>

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Cleaner shares six structural tips to make your house easy to clean

<p dir="ltr">A professional cleaner has shared six things to avoid when building a house in order to make your home easier to clean. </p> <p dir="ltr">Kacie from The Big Clean Co in Melbourne shared the tips in a TikTok video which racked up over 600,000 views in less than 14 hours. </p> <p dir="ltr">She recommends choosing alternative style solutions rather than opting for blinds with small slats, freestanding bathtubs, square sinks and black tapware. </p> <p dir="ltr">Kacie said that blinds with smaller slats accumulate much more dust, making it a long task to individually clean each one. </p> <p dir="ltr">She also said that while free-standing bathtubs are a chic and modern styling option, it's important to avoid placing them right beside the wall because it becomes difficult to clean the tight gap. </p> <p dir="ltr">“You need to be able to clean in there,” she said.  </p> <p dir="ltr">Kacie recommends opting for a round or oval sink in kitchens and bathrooms, as corners of square sinks are “so annoying to clean”. </p> <p dir="ltr">She also suggested not to install “sensitive” black tapware unless you are “really sure it's durable” because over time the black coating fades, exposing the bronze brass underneath.</p> <p dir="ltr">When choosing kitchen cabinetry, Kacie recommends minimising the space between the cupboards and ceiling as she said “it's just a shelf to catch grease on”.</p> <p dir="ltr">Her video was flooded with praise in the comments, with one person writing, “Fellow cleaner here! COMPLETELY AGREE!”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

Home & Garden

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“Healing from grief is an inside job”: Why Ashley Judd found and met with her abuser

<p dir="ltr">Content warning: This article includes mentions of sexual assault, rape and child sexual abuse (CSA).</p> <p dir="ltr">Ashley Judd has opened up about the conversation she had with the man who raped her more than two decades ago.</p> <p dir="ltr">The <em>Double Jeopardy </em>star spoke about confronting the man who assaulted her in 1999 during an appearance on the podcast <em>Healing With David Kessler</em>, telling host David Kessler that they had a “restorative-justice conversation”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“To make a long story short, we ended up in rocking chairs sitting by a creek together,” Judd said. “And I said, ‘I’m very interested in hearing the story you’ve carried all these years’. And we had a restorative-justice conversation about that.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I wanted to share that story because there are many ways of healing from grief, and it's important to remind listeners that I didn't need anything from him and it was just gravy that he made his amends and expressed his deep remorse because healing from grief is an inside job."</p> <p dir="ltr">The 54-year-old added that she didn’t need closure from the man, whose identity is still unknown, or “his cooperation” or “for him to make amends” to continue healing, and that she was just “very interested in hearing” his side of the story.</p> <p dir="ltr">"Because I had the opportunity to do my trauma work, to do my grief work, to do my healing work, to have all these shifts in my own consciousness and to bond in these female coalition spaces with other survivors," Judd said. </p> <p dir="ltr">Recalling the incident, Judd described it as “crazy-making” and “unconscionable”.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I was very clear, my boundaries were intact. I was already an empowered, adult feminist woman," she recalled. </p> <p dir="ltr">"And that this could happen under these circumstances was unconscionable, unforeseen, and yet I have had a restorative-justice process with this person out of how replete my soul is today."</p> <p dir="ltr">Judd has publicly spoken about being a three-time rape survivor in the past and shared her story for the first time in her 2011 memoir, <em>All That Is Bitter &amp; Sweet</em>, and again in an <a href="https://www.mic.com/articles/113226/forget-your-team-your-online-violence-toward-girls-and-women-is-what-can-kiss-my-ass" target="_blank" rel="noopener">op-ed</a> she wrote for <em>Mic.com</em>’s ‘Pass the Mic’ series.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I am a survivor of sexual assault, rape and incest," she wrote at the time. </p> <p dir="ltr">"The summer of 1984 was tough for me. I experienced two rapes by an adult and systematic molestation from another adult, who also had another man in the room watching … This January, I read three different things that freshly triggered an additional, very specific memory from age 15 – an attempted oral rape by yet another adult man."</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong><em>If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault or childhood sexual abuse and need support, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit their <a href="https://www.1800respect.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">website</a>, or contact <a href="https://blueknot.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">BlueKnot</a> on 1300 657 380.</em></strong></p> <p><em><span id="docs-internal-guid-9fcf9217-7fff-3f43-fab5-e53785cce460"></span></em></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Mind

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"Trauma is a beast": Grace Tame hospitalised

<p dir="ltr"><em>Content warning: This article includes discussions of suicide and mentions of sexual assault, abuse, and domestic violence.</em></p> <p dir="ltr">Two former Australians of the Year have spoken out about the toll of speaking out about the worst moments in their lives and being an advocate, warning that “trauma is a beast”.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-89efdaea-7fff-58e9-41ec-d99d785872aa"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">Grace Tame and Rosie Batty spoke about their experiences during a talk titled ‘Protecting the Outspoken’ at the 2022 All About Women festival at the Sydney Opera House on Sunday.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Grace Tame says she likely wouldn’t be alive today if it weren’t for her fiancé and has had to call ER in recent days. She says the media has a lot to answer for - that shame should be directed at perpetrators, not trauma survivors. <a href="https://twitter.com/SydOperaHouse?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@SydOperaHouse</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/AllAboutWomen?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#AllAboutWomen</a> <a href="https://t.co/PdytrYiFPA">pic.twitter.com/PdytrYiFPA</a></p> <p>— Caitlin Cassidy (@caitecassidy) <a href="https://twitter.com/caitecassidy/status/1502851261883842560?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 13, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">Ms Tame revealed she had gone to the emergency room seeking mental health treatment after recent media storms, including the coverage of her drug use as a teenager.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I was actually in the ER the other day because I lost control and I was really scared,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I called up the clinic and I said, ‘I can’t, I can’t, I’ve stepped too deep into the shame spiral’,” she said, adding that she was experiencing suicidal thoughts.</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-e96b11fc-7fff-6eb0-d037-e099d65327b1"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">“That’s real and that’s the toll it takes. That’s the price of shame. And so that’s why I wrote that open letter. You know, I’ve got a sense of humour, I can have a laugh.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">AN OPEN LETTER</p> <p>To every media outlet who sought to discredit me by publishing THAT photo,</p> <p>Although my humour and strength remain intact, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t let me down.</p> <p>Not just as an individual, but more so as an advocate of the survivor community…</p> <p>— Grace Tame (@TamePunk) <a href="https://twitter.com/TamePunk/status/1494877152491487239?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 19, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">Though she said she could “make jokes” about the pressure of being in the spotlight, the media had “a lot to answer for” after publishing a photo of her with a bong when she had made it no secret that she had managed her trauma and self-harming behaviour with drugs.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The media has a lot to answer for where it directs its shame. There is a disproportionate amount of shame that is still pointed towards people who do not understand yet what has happened to them,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And that shame needs to be pointed squarely, not (at) these people who are trying to figure out what the f**k happened to them, it needs to be pointed at the perpetrators of domestic violence, of sexual assault and child sexual abuse.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Ms Batty, who has campaigned for domestic violence reform following the murder of her son, Luke, by his father in 2014, said her place in the public eye had been “bittersweet”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I think it’s overwhelming. I think imposter syndrome. I think, ‘all these people I’ve (been) nominated against, you know, have done amazing work for decades. Who am I?,” she said of receiving the Australian of the Year award in 2015.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I always felt very conflicted. Am I just getting this award because my son was murdered?”</p> <p dir="ltr">Ms Batty said it took her many years to process her grief and had poured herself into her work to avoid the “deep trauma” of her son’s death.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I was so afraid of failing and not being good enough or perhaps overcompensating and poured myself into it,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I mean, this is eight years since I lost Luke. And it is an overwhelming journey.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I had a sense of purpose and meaning that gave me a reason to get up every day. So ultimately, it was my drive. It was my reason to keep living. So I would never change that.</p> <p dir="ltr">“But what it did do was isolate me, disconnected me, and I couldn’t understand why people didn’t keep in touch with me anymore.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I can tell you during the first year of Covid lockdown when other people were working out, and feeling dissatisfied or frustrated or pushing back on government restrictions, I was finally choosing which urn to put Luke’s ashes in. And it was uncomfortable and it was painful, but you have to eventually sit with pain. And we do avoid it, we drink, we smoke, we take drugs, we do anything to avoid pain.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Ms Tame also spoke about the backlash she faced over a campaign she was involved in to fight for women’s rights, after complaints emerged that it featured too many white, middle class faces.</p> <p dir="ltr">She has urged feminists and progressive campaigners to avoid exclusionary language and said she was still learning about the language and history of feminism.</p> <p dir="ltr">“There’s been a lot of criticism, and that’s part and parcel of the landscape. But, you know, people bring their heart and soul to this. And there’s a lot of trauma in it,’’ she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I’m accountable for my mistakes. And that’s one thing that I’ve tried to do as best as I can, especially as someone who, you know, I didn’t go to university. I didn’t do gender studies. You know, and I don’t have as good a knowledge as I could have of feminist history, and all the terminology, but I do my best to understand and to learn.”</p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><em>Image: Roy Vandervegt / Adelaide Festival</em></p>

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“It has stayed with me”: Using fiction to explore trauma

<p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Content warning: This article mentions sexual assault.</span></em></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Those who experience trauma can seek help in various ways, through therapy or creative outlets, and fiction is no exception.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In fiction, traumatic events are often depicted as a jumping-off point for a protagonist or hero’s story - whether that’s watching Bruce Wayne’s parents die before he can fight crime as Batman, or witnessing the attempted murder of Uma Thurman as the Bride in </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kill Bill</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> before she seeks revenge.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These depictions of traumatic events are often the precursor to a character’s descent into revenge, madness, or both, but they don’t have to be the only stories we see.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In her </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0022167817749703?casa_token=s_BbuJyDvjAAAAAA%3Apewb-trbcPxlbO0uGRYKAqOf_cchsFgT1CCpbRZQvODADU7rWimX6gaj1of76-A1cM1u61nak6K1L40" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">doctoral thesis</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> published in the </span><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Journal of Humanistic Psychology</span></em><span style="font-weight: 400;">, Dr Lynn Gumb defines an ‘ordinary hero’ that can emerge in fiction as a “person who, despite the challenges of trauma, continues to live an ordinary life” and doesn’t follow the well-worn path to madness or revenge. Instead, the individual can choose to “alter the landscape of their own lives” after trauma and pursue recovery.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">P. J. McKay, the author of </span><em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.pjmckayauthor.com/shop-1" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Telling Time</span></a></em><span style="font-weight: 400;">, uses traumatic experiences from her own life to explore this recovery process, as women from two generations navigate the Croatian immigrant experience, family secrets and backpacking as a rite of passage.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I know that my personal experience while backpacking in the 1980s, especially in a country like Yugoslavia, where there was such a chasm in the way men viewed Western women (fuelled of course by Western movies and songs) would be familiar territory for many young women,” she told </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">OverSixty</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">. “For me, novels that speak of shared experiences, or situations which feel believable, resonate most.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“The backpacking experience has been a rite of passage for many, particularly in Australasia and I know many have experienced unwanted sexual attention. My experience was a close call. It has stayed with me and has felt like a significant turning point in my life.”</span></p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">Our discomfort and resulting tendency to retreat into silence only adds to the power of perpetrators.</p> — Grace Tame (@TamePunk) <a href="https://twitter.com/TamePunk/status/1464790576323170305?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 28, 2021</a></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As difficult as it can be for survivors to witness these moments, stories like </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Telling Time</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> keep these traumatic situations at the forefront of our minds, especially as these situations continue to happen.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I thought it was important not to shy away from the reality of sexual assault and to explore the impact of this on friendships and why sometimes (often) it seems best to hold close and not disclose what happened,” McKay adds.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">However, some argue that the focus of recovery stories should be on what happens after the traumatic event, and how individuals can find truth and healing despite their experiences.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“There seems to be no doubt that trauma can stand in the way of finding truth and healing,” McKay says.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It remains to be seen whether society today, with its broader expectations and openness around sexual relationships, and less traditional male and female roles, will alow for more open conversations by those who have suffered trauma, particularly sexual trauma.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In an interview with </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">ABC’s</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">7.30</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">, American activist and founder of the #Metoo movement Tarana Burke said conversations around trauma should shift, as the retelling of traumatic events comes with more costs than benefits.</span></p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none"> <p dir="ltr">"We urge survivors to share their story, so you're re-traumatising not only the person but the person hearing that. There's not a tremendous amount of value in hearing the story, there's so much value in the hearing what happens after." – <a href="https://twitter.com/TaranaBurke?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@taranaburke</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/abc730?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#abc730</a></p> — abc730 (@abc730) <a href="https://twitter.com/abc730/status/1450386432757927947?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 19, 2021</a></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“We urge survivors to share their story, so you’re re-traumatising not only the person but the person hearing that,” she said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“There’s not a tremendous amount of value in hearing the story, there’s so much value in hearing what happens after.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As the conversations around trauma continue to change, it may be that having to witness these events becomes less necessary, and that we no longer need to share them to prevent future generations from experiencing them.</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Getty Images</span></em></p>

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Rolling media coverage of missing persons cases can add to the trauma for all families left behind

<p>The public has been privy to live footage of police operations. New South Wales police, dressed in overalls, scoured dense bushland to retrieve a small piece of fabric. Reports <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-11-21/another-piece-of-fabric-found-william-tyrrell-search-day-seven/100633540" target="_blank">suggested</a> the yet-to-be-analysed fabric may be linked to the case of missing boy William Tyrrell.</p> <p>William’s case – along with the location of Cleo Smith in Western Australia and recent developments in the case of missing campers Russell Hill and Carol Clay in Victoria – have been prominent news stories.</p> <p>Media interest can invite the public into the investigative process. But rolling media coverage can have an immediate and long-lasting effect on the families left behind. That’s not only the families of that particular case, but the families of other missing people, whose case isn’t in the news.</p> <p>Non-stop coverage can invade their privacy, raise and dash their hopes, and prolong their trauma.</p> <p><strong>More people go missing than ever make ‘news’</strong></p> <p>In 2020, Australia’s <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.missingpersons.gov.au" target="_blank">National Missing Persons Coordination Centre</a> had more than <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.missingpersons.gov.au/about" target="_blank">51,000 reports</a> about the safety and well-being of a missing person. Many of those cases are resolved within one month.</p> <p>Yet more than <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.missingpersons.gov.au/about" target="_blank">2,600 cases</a> are long term – when a person is missing for longer than three months.</p> <p>It’s rare for the families of people who are missing to have had any contact with the media before. So it’s difficult for families to navigate and manage media interest.</p> <p>Bruce Morcombe’s son Daniel was 13 when <a rel="noopener" href="https://danielmorcombe.com.au/daniels-legacy/" target="_blank">he was abducted</a> from the Sunshine Coast in December 2003. His remains were found in 2011.</p> <p>Bruce <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/lifematters/minimising-distress-for-families-of-missing-children/13635622" target="_blank">told the ABC</a> how he managed the media interest. He said the disappearance, homicide and the criminal investigation created a groundswell of empathy.</p> <p>However, he said when the momentum slowed and it was looking like the case would become “cold”, the family and their supporters created media opportunities – to offer a new hook, a new angle – to continue community engagement.</p> <p>Families of missing people believe “someone, somewhere must know something”. Media offers the greatest capacity to reach that “someone”.</p> <p>However, media attention is not guaranteed and is not an <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/348632071_Lost_from_the_conversation_Missing_people_and_the_role_of_Police_media_in_shaping_community_awareness" target="_blank">even playing field</a>. <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/nov/06/cleo-smith-search-ends-in-joy-but-what-of-australias-other-missing-children" target="_blank">Attention only falls</a>, and priority given, to cases assessed as vulnerable. Cases the media deems newsworthy or those that reach high engagement (through liking, commenting and sharing on social media) also get attention.</p> <p><strong>How does this rolling media coverage affect families?</strong></p> <p>When the media provides rolling coverage of every tiny development in a missing persons case, it can raise hope for some families watching on. But for others, it can have the opposite effect.</p> <p>A <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/280876972_'I_still_hope_but_what_I_hope_for_now_has_changed'_A_narrative_inquiry_study_of_hope_and_ambiguous_loss_when_someone_is_missing" target="_blank">2015 study of Australian families</a> I conducted as part of my PhD found increased hope also creates a “hope hangover”. Families told me this is where anticipation peaks but they need recovery time to manage the emotional assault of a possible resolution.</p> <p>Families of missing people also told me they have to remain resilient as other cases are solved, and the uncertainty of how long the investigation of their own loved one will take. In other words, media reporting of outcomes of one case can compound the trauma experienced by families of other missing people, whose case has not yet been resolved.</p> <p><strong>Then there’s the invasion of privacy</strong></p> <p>Privacy for these families is <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/missing-and-found-understanding-the-privacy-needs-of-missing-people-13786" target="_blank">also an issue</a>.</p> <p>Loren O’Keeffe, founder and chief executive officer of <a rel="noopener" href="https://mpan.com.au" target="_blank">Missing Persons Advocacy Network</a>, was buoyed by community interest to help the search over the five years her brother Dan was missing.</p> <p>When he was found, in traumatic circumstances, despite asking for privacy, she noticed the community felt a sense of ownership over Dan and the family’s story. Earlier this week, when Loren reflected about the location of her brother, she told me:</p> <blockquote> <p>[…] journalists incessantly ringing the doorbell, flooding inboxes demanding interviews, seeing awful commentary over social media – completely overwhelmed us when we needed space and silence to process our reality. It’s an unconscionable notion; desperate families that get media and public support for “search” are then obliged to share such raw grief and delicate detail at the debilitating time of “found”.</p> </blockquote> <p><strong>Specific media quidelines would help</strong></p> <p>The reasons people go missing can be diverse and complex. These can be due to a crime, complex mental illness, suicide or misadventure. This means a number of different media guidelines or codes of practice could potentially come into play to shape media coverage.</p> <p>There are no Australian media guidelines specifically about reporting missing persons cases. They are needed.</p> <p>We may be able to learn from the success of <a rel="noopener" href="https://mindframe.org.au" target="_blank">Mindframe</a>, a national program that provides evidence-based recommendations for media reporting and public communication about suicide and mental illness, among other issues.</p> <p>The program has been developed and refined over two decades, providing a strong platform for collaboration between the media and people involved in mental health and suicide prevention, including those with lived experience of these issues.</p> <p>The guidelines do not restrict media reporting of the issues, but provide an opportunity for media and those working with the media to reflect on a number of issues. These include the types of content and messaging that may reduce risk of harm and distress, reduce stigma, and increase people’s willingness to seek help and offer help to others.</p> <p>Jaelea Skehan, director of <a rel="noopener" href="https://everymind.org.au" target="_blank">Everymind</a> (the organisation behind the <a rel="noopener" href="https://everymind.org.au/programs/mindframe" target="_blank">Mindframe</a> guidelines) told me that with media guidelines specific to missing persons, newsworthy coverage would still take place, but would also consider the potential impacts on those directly involved or impacted by similar experiences.</p> <p>Remember, the stories of the investigations of missing persons cases are not the full story of the life of the person who is lost or the families left behind.</p> <p>As the brother of a young woman missing for more than 30 years told me as <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/280876972_'I_still_hope_but_what_I_hope_for_now_has_changed'_A_narrative_inquiry_study_of_hope_and_ambiguous_loss_when_someone_is_missing" target="_blank">part of my research</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Hope can get buried deep below, we [the families of missing people] are like icebergs. We don’t have rose coloured spectacles on, it’s like they have been ripped off. We see the world as it is. There is a lot that others don’t see.</p> </blockquote> <p>The community, when watching on, needs to remember that.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/172487/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sarah-wayland-18783" target="_blank">Sarah Wayland</a>, Senior Lecturer Social Work, <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919" target="_blank">University of New England</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com" target="_blank">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/rolling-media-coverage-of-missing-persons-cases-can-add-to-the-trauma-for-all-families-left-behind-172487" target="_blank">original article</a>.</em></p> <p><em>Image: NSW Police (Facebook)</em></p>

Mind

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“You can’t unsee it”: Pro cleaner reveals the FILTH inside our mattresses

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A professional cleaner has taken to social media to share what kind of dirt can lurk in your mattress – and why you should always vacuum it.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kacie Stephens, who runs a cleaning business called The Big Clean Co, shared a clip on TikTok of what came out of a mattress she deep-cleaned using a vacuum cleaner and a black cloth.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Warning. Once you see this, you can’t unsee it,” she captioned the video, which has racked up over 420,000 views.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I’m going to show you how to test how clean your mattress is. Get a black piece of material and wrap it at the end of your vacuum – that is going to act as your filter for the dust and skin cells.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After vacuuming the two-year-old mattress, Ms Stephens unravelled the cloth to show the dirt, dust, and dead skin cells it had collected.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7845778/vacuum1.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/887cc7c1c5d94920affbb8e11663f62d" /></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: @thebigcleanco (Instagram)</span></em></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“A mattress that isn’t cleaned regularly contains a build-up of allergens including dust and skin cells, as well as spots and stains from body fluid and sweat,” Ms Stephens told </span><em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/home/diy/cleaner-shares-why-you-should-always-vacuum-your-mattress/news-story/4731db10551f1e5d70acea3a4b6701c6" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">news.com.au</span></a></em><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“If you’re game enough to get your face right up to it, the mattress will have a musty smell.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ms Stephens also revealed how often she believes people should vacuum their bedding – and the frequency might surprise you.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Mattresses should be vacuumed every single time sheets are changed – and sheets should be changed once per week,” she said.</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CWNXgLogw5Z/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CWNXgLogw5Z/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by The Big Clean Co - Est 2017 (@thebigcleanco)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As for the “best technique” for cleaning, she said it involves just vacuuming your mattress.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Don’t attempt the technique of covering the mattress in bicarb and vacuuming it up, as particles are bound to be left on the mattress where they can then cause issues with the mattress fibres over the long term – not to mention it can also damage your vacuum [if you use bicarb],” she said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But, she did have some advice for tackling marks on your mattress, recommending you “spot clean” with “plain water on a cloth – and if that doesn’t work, use a little 3 percent hydrogen peroxide, which is available in the pharmacy”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ms Stephens also recommended </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">against</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> steam cleaning – a task she says should be left to the experts.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Most people don’t even think about having their mattress steam cleaned – but this is easily done by professional carpet and upholstery cleaners and is a great way to keep dust mites and bacteria at bay,” she explained.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Often people look for a DIY steam cleaner but as commercial steam cleaners we see that these machines leave fibres wet for extended periods, creating the perfect environment for fungal and mould spores to thrive inside your mattress.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Steam cleaning is a job for the professionals.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Many viewers of her mattress-cleaning video shared their shock after trying the technique themselves.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I tested this. I vacuum my mattress every week and oh my god. It was so bad,” one woman shared.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I sell vacuums for a living and people don’t understand how much stuff gets put into those mattresses when you sleep,” another commented.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“This is gross but we need to do this. Thank you for sharing,” a third said.</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: @thebigcleanco (Instagram)</span></em></p>

Home & Garden

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When missing children return: how can we avoid adding to Cleo Smith’s trauma?

<p>Four-year-old Cleo Smith was <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/nov/03/cleo-smith-found-first-pictures-of-smiling-girl-as-australian-police-detail-moment-of-rescue" target="_blank">found by Western Australian police earlier this week</a>, 18 days after going missing from a remote campsite.</p> <p>Being taken and removed from one’s family is a significantly traumatic event for any child. It disrupts their entire world.</p> <p>Children are <a href="https://acamh.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1469-7610.2011.02399.x">dependent on their families and attachment figures</a> for their sense of security and support. Sudden loss of these important relationships can result in fear, a sense of abandonment and confusion. Children left alone can become withdrawn and depressed and have little understanding of why this has happened to them.</p> <p>There can be long-term effects, such as memories of the fearful experience, sleep disruption and anxiety. Some children will have difficultly rebuilding their sense of security and trust.</p> <p>As a child psychiatrist who’s researched trauma, I’m interested in how we can ensure such children recover.</p> <p>Family members, the media and the public also need to avoid certain actions or behaviours that could re-traumatise the child.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">"It's one person who has done this horrible thing"<br /><br />WA Police Minister Paul Papalia shares new details about the miracle rescue of missing girl Cleo Smith. <a href="https://t.co/CEAE1U3HFm">pic.twitter.com/CEAE1U3HFm</a></p> — Sunrise (@sunriseon7) <a href="https://twitter.com/sunriseon7/status/1455998352668053507?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 3, 2021</a></blockquote> <p><strong>How can the child recover?</strong></p> <p>The first priority after finding the child is to immediately re-establish a sense of safety and stability, and to reunite them with their family.</p> <p>The most important thing is to avoid intrusive, <a rel="noopener" href="https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1348/135532506X156620" target="_blank">probing questioning</a> straight away as this can be frightening and distressing. It’s a normal response for the child to try and not think about what they’ve just been through.</p> <p>They will take their own time before they’re able to share details of their experiences, and will need considerable support and care to do this.</p> <p>Intrusive questioning may re-traumatise the child. For survivors of trauma, being asked to focus on their memories and experiences of fear can be distressing and bring back the terror of the experience, particularly if they’re not ready to think about the events.</p> <p>Police forces have skilled interviewers who understand and avoid this when recovering a child, and perform the interviews gradually.</p> <p>There are open questions about any other sort of trauma Cleo may have experienced, but for now we don’t have any information on this. We might never know all the details and we need to respect the family’s right to privacy.</p> <p>Some children might benefit from counselling, particularly if they have severe anxiety symptoms or have been held for a long time.</p> <p>Children held for a long time often become dependent on their captor for survival, as they <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01926180902754711?journalCode=uaft20" target="_blank">adapt to their situation and attempt to survive</a>. It’s a very strange and traumatising position for the child to be in and may take a long time to recover from.</p> <p>Over time, it’s important for attachment figures such as parents and carers to allow children to express fears in a gentle way.</p> <p>Children may have “disguised anxieties”. They may develop fear about some other thing or event, for example storms or dogs, because they’re <a rel="noopener" href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0829573512468845" target="_blank">expressing anxiety about the traumatic event in a disguised way</a>.</p> <p><strong>Adults should listen, not probe</strong></p> <p>Caregivers need to be <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubpdfs/child-trauma.pdf" target="_blank">guided by the child’s willingness to disclose</a>, and when.</p> <p>The response to trauma varies considerably. Some children tell parents or carers a lot about the experience at first. Others may disclose small details little by little over time, while some may not speak about details for months or years.</p> <p>Parents or carers need to let the child speak at their own pace and be guided by the child’s level of anxiety. The aim is to give the child a safe space to speak to trusted people who can support them.</p> <p>When they do start talking about their experience, adults must listen carefully and validate their feelings. Adults should reassure the child that he or she is safe now. It’s not a good idea to probe.</p> <p>Believing what the child says is crucial.</p> <p><strong>Let’s not get carried away with speculation</strong></p> <p>We don’t know what the long-term consequences for Cleo will be. This will depend on what she’s been exposed to, which we don’t know yet. And we don’t always get a sense of closure – this isn’t as important as working on the best way to support her recovery.</p> <p>The media should avoid premature comment and speculation on what might have occurred. The media currently have no idea what kind of person the suspect is and shouldn’t speculate on his behaviours and motives.</p> <p>It’s also not helpful for the media to focus on extreme ideas about risk to children at the hands of predatory offenders.</p> <p>As the public, we shouldn’t speculate about the circumstances either or prejudge those involved. Police are methodical and thorough in their work and will need time to piece together the story of what may have happened.</p> <p>The local community, and many members of the public, are likely to be anxious and fearful. A missing child strikes at the core of our desire to care for children. This may have negative impacts on community trust and relationships.</p> <p>If this was random act, there’s the potential for ongoing fear. And it’s potentially more scary than the stereotypes we think of, such as a planned attack by a ring of perpetrators. A random attack is harder to make sense of, terrifying and unsettling.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">Missing four-year-old girl Cleo Smith has been found safe and well in a locked house in Carnarvon, WA police say.<br /><br />Here's why missing children cases grip the nation (from the archives): <a href="https://t.co/Ybv7JbjCXD">https://t.co/Ybv7JbjCXD</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/Uni_Newcastle?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@Uni_Newcastle</a></p> — The Conversation (@ConversationEDU) <a href="https://twitter.com/ConversationEDU/status/1455646662102241286?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 2, 2021</a></blockquote> <p><strong>Parent's need support, too</strong></p> <p>Cleo’s parents, and any parents in a similar situation, have been through a horrendous ordeal.</p> <p>They have the vital role of helping a child feel safe again, so they also need support to do this.</p> <p>All parents may feel increased anxiety about child safety in the face of this event. Children may also hear about Cleo’s experience and worry this could happen to them. Fear is contagious when such a traumatic event impacts a community.</p> <p>If parents are worried about their child showing trauma or anxiety symptoms, they should speak to GP who can refer to a psychologist or psychiatrist if more support is needed.</p> <p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.</em><!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/171200/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/louise-newman-1753" target="_blank">Louise Newman</a>, Professorial Fellow in Psychiatry, <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722" target="_blank">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com" target="_blank">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/when-missing-children-return-how-can-we-avoid-adding-to-cleo-smiths-trauma-171200" target="_blank">original article</a>.</em></p> <p><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Mind

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Understanding the “window of tolerance” in trauma recovery

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For survivors of trauma, recovering involves learning how to cope with distress and how to increase the capacity for positive and enjoyable experiences.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A common framework psychologists use while working with trauma survivors is called the “window of tolerance”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Understanding our personal windows of tolerance can help us respond to demands of daily life and utilise different strategies to return to it during stressful moments.</span></p> <p><strong>What is the window of tolerance?</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Coined by psychiatrist Dan Spiegel, the </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/window-of-tolerance" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">window of tolerance</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> describes a state of arousal where a person can function well and respond to stimuli with much difficulty.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In this state, a person is likely able to think rationally, reflect, and make decisions without feeling overwhelmed.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When a person experiences extreme stress, they can leave this window and enter a state of hyper- or hypo-arousal.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Hyper-arousal is also known as the fight or flight response, with a person usually experiencing hypervigilance, anxiety or panic, and racing thoughts.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In contrast, hypo-arousal is the freeze response, where someone may feel emotionally numb, empty, or paralysed.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Being in either of these states can mean that a person is unable to effectively process stimuli.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">They may be unable to think as rationally and can feel dysregulated.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Everyone’s window of tolerance is different and can be affected by their environment - such as how supported they feel - and trauma.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 386.4533965244866px; height: 500px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7844316/nicabm-infog-window-of-tolerance-revised.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/82982d740495463a868203412a0187d2" /></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: NICABM</span></em></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When a person feels supported and safe, they are generally able to stay in their window of tolerance.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For those who have experienced trauma, the experience may “push” a person out of their window of tolerance, or make it much more narrow or inflexible.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This can result in someone responding to even minor stressors with extreme hyper- or hypo-arousal, or believing the world is unsafe.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Frequently staying outside the window of tolerance can result in an individual experiencing mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.</span></p> <p><strong>Manage mental health with the window of tolerance</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">People who feel dysregulated and often stay outside of their window of tolerance can return using a few different techniques.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Practicing grounding and mindfulness skills can often help people be present and in the moment.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">With the help of a mental health professional, it is also possible for a person to expand their window of tolerance, feel a greater sense of calm, and become better equipped to deal with stress.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Therapy can provide individuals with a safe space to process trauma and other painful memories, as well as a place to practice emotional regulation.</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Getty Images</span></em></p>

Mind

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5 signs complex trauma is affecting your relationship

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Trauma can affect how the brain works, how we deal with future stressors, and how we navigate our relationships with others.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Someone who has experienced trauma might find it difficult to find and stay in fulfilling romantic relationships or they could feel unsatisfied with their current relationship but can’t pinpoint exactly why - and complex trauma could be to blame.</span></p> <p><strong>What is complex trauma?</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Unlike typical Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is the result of a single traumatic event and is often associated with soldiers and those escaping war zones, complex PTSD (c-PTSD) is the result of multiple traumatic events over a long period of time.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These events usually occur in childhood or adolescence and can include witnessing the illness or death of a caregiver, abuse, neglect, or exposure to violent or chaotic situations.</span></p> <p><strong>What does c-PTSD look like?</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Although it is a fairly new term, complex PTSD shares some symptoms with typical PTSD, with some additional symptoms.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">According to UK mental health organisation </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd-and-complex-ptsd/complex-ptsd/" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mind</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, these symptoms can include:</span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Constantly feeling empty or hopeless</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Difficulty regulating emotions</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Experiencing dissociative symptoms</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Headaches, dizziness, stomach aches, and other physical symptoms</span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Those with complex PTSD may also find friendships and relationships very difficult, or try to avoid them altogether.</span></p> <p><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/mindful-anger/202109/7-signs-complex-trauma-is-impairing-your-relationship" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Dr Andrea Brandt</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, a marriage and family therapist of 35 years with a PhD in clinical psychology, shares five signs c-PTSD could be affecting your relationship.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 0px; height:0px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7843834/gettyimages-1270234171.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/360e619b1a6444b8be3bc136582b60d9" /></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Getty Images</span></em></p> <p><strong>1. You worry your partners are going to leave you</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Experiencing constant feelings of insecurity in your relationship is common for people with c-PTSD.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A constant fear your partner will leave may be the result of multiple major upheavals in childhood or having caregivers who would be very loving and attentive sometimes, and unavailable or aloof at other times, according to Dr Brandt. </span></p> <p><strong>2. Acting “clingy” or “needy”</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Have you ever been described by a partner as “needy” or “clingy”? It may be due to complex PTSD.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Dr Brandt points to feelings of abandonment as the culprit, as these feelings cause you to cling to your partner, which can drive your partner away and fulfill your fear of being abandoned.</span></p> <p><strong>3. You are hypersensitive or hypervigilant</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you feel hypersensitive to slights despite being in a stable relationship with a loving partner, or you feel hypervigilant towards any signs of trouble, that may indicate that you have c-PTSD.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Dr Brandt says that if you feel anxious or on edge most of the time while in relationships and this occurs across multiple relationships, seeking treatment for complex trauma is a good idea.</span></p> <p><strong>4. You find trusting romantic partners hard</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">According to Dr Brandt, experiencing abuse or neglect or living in a chaotic environment while growing up can make it hard for you to trust romantic partners as an adult, especially if your caregiver was a source of trauma.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This may result in the development of an anxious-avoidant attachment style, meaning that you crave closeness with others but push it away when it happens.</span></p> <p><strong>5. Saying yes to sex when you don’t want it</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Finding yourself agreeing to or initiating sex even when you don’t feel like it? Dr Brandt says this could be because you’re craving feelings of closeness or because sex helps to dull other negative emotions.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you then pull away once physical intimacy is achieved, potentially ending a relationship before it’s truly begun and moving on to another partner, this is a sign of an anxious-avoidant attachment style resulting from complex trauma.</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CTaxSZ7JDwo/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CTaxSZ7JDwo/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Andrea Brandt (@abrandtphd)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p><strong>What you can do about it</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These are only some of the ways complex trauma can affect your relationships, but Dr Brandt stresses that those with complex PTSD can still experience happy, healthy relationships.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you identify with any of these or other signs, she first suggests recognising that these issues aren’t the fault of your partner or current situation. Instead, they are the result of events that have occurred years or decades earlier.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Acknowledging your trauma and processing it with a licensed professional can help you start to heal and embark on the journey to healthier and happier relationships.</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Getty Images</span></em></p>

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